A Female CisBi’s Perspective on Pansexuality

by misstomrstodr

There is a lot of discourse in the popular media about the difference between Pansexuality and Bisexuality. I find in informal exchanges, many who initially identified as bisexual migrate to a pansexual identity. I can definitely respect this perspective – pansexuality reflects an absence of our narrow consideration of gender as a stale binary ideal to something less restrictive that focuses on an individual rather than the gender mold an individual fits into. I would also like to make the case (and I say case rather than argument, because there is no “right” side to this, nor is there a debate of bisexuality versus pansexuality) that bisexuality has a right to peacefully coexist separately from pansexuality.

As pansexuality rejects the binary consideration of gender, bisexuality (although the root of the word does indeed mean “two”) celebrates the differences of males, females, and everything in between. As a female cisbi, I feel that my falling in love with my husband was in the spirit of pansexuality – it happened to be that he was the ying to my yang in so many different ways. However, my attraction to both men and to women is separate and different. There are things I am attracted to in men that reside in our social consideration of masculinity, and there are things that I am attracted to in women that reside in our social consideration of femininity [both the social constriction and the new-age feminism]. These are separate, and while they do often co-exist, I suggest that they do not overlap. They are characteristics that are separate.

Abandon the fact that there are inherent problems with the fact that certain notions are socially male or female. I only suggest these facts for nothing more than for what a bisexual’s social identity becomes (or exists as) is a product of their microsocial and macrosocial surroundings. While I respect pansexuality, I do identity as a bisexual who is in a committed relationship with a man. There are most definitely separations in the consideration of my sexual attraction and orientation that do seem to demarcate by gender, and in my humble opinion, that separates me from the consideration of my being a pansexual.